End Panic and Anxiety

A panic attack is a state of acute anxiety. This anxiety manifests as various emotional states and bodily symptoms.

Panic attacks are not caused by external conditions. They are not caused by what you eat or what seems to threaten you, although they may be triggered by these things. A cause and a trigger are two different things. A panic attack is caused by one thing and one thing alone; fear. "But I am not afraid of anything" you may respond. You don't have to be threatened by anything major to experience intense fear.

We all experience little fears in our life. We are afraid our children will get hurt or our friends will not approve of us and so on. These little fears accumulate and become amplified unknowingly by various habits we engage in. The intense fear generated starts to interfere with the correct operation of our bodily systems and we experience what is called a panic attack. 

Have you ever cooked meat on a barbecue using charcoal? What do you normally do when the heat emitted from the charcoal dies down? The answer is: you blow air on it by fanning with a piece of cardboard. This will give you a hint as to what habits you are engaging in, that are leading to intense fear. Let me give you an example to make this clearer. Suppose you are angry. Anger always involves a certain amount of fear. Your mind has a mechanism which changes this fear into restlessness in order to make it more tolerable to you. You still do not like this restlessness so you attempt to bury it by engaging in a pleasure form. This is done unknowingly and the pleasure forms pursued are numerous. Some people may indulge in drinking, others in smoking, eating and so on.

Many people indulge in sex in order to cover their restlessness. Sex is a potent energy. When this energy passes through your system it also passes through your suppressed fears and amplifies them considerably. This only creates further and more intense restlessness a short time later. Have you ever noticed how many people start smoking or raid the refrigerator shortly after having sex? 

Indulging in pleasure forms in this way is like passing a stream of strong air over a dying fire. In other words when you use a negative state of mind to inspire a decision to create pleasure, it has the effect of reinforcing and amplifying the negative state of mind. Please do not misinterpret what I'm saying here. I am not asking you to give up your various forms of pleasure. You must learn to cultivate the right state of mind so that any decisions concerning pleasure forms will bypass your suppressed fears and have no unpleasant consequences.

Although a panic attack is caused by fear, we still need to know what causes fear. And let me add here that your fear is not caused by external influences, as many people believe. Unless you know what is causing your fear you will have no hope in overcoming your anxiety. The best you can do is control the symptoms of your anxiety by using medication or various meditative techniques. Unfortunately the cause of your fear will still exist in your system and will continue to create further symptoms.

Fear may manifest in many situations but is not necessarily caused by these situations. The area of relationships is one of them. Many relationships involve a great deal of fear. One needs to understand how to create harmonious relationships. This skill is quite involved. You need to understand how your mind and the minds of others operate and interconnect.

Furthermore fear is reinforced and intensified greatly by the expression of the various negative emotional states. Anger, hatred, jealousy and all unpleasant emotions lead to fear. One needs to learn to manage these emotions in oneself and in others in order to restrict the creation of fear. And in order for fear not to be created at all, one needs to know what causes these emotions and prevent them from occurring.

After all that is said and done, the problem is far from being solved. Even if I told you exactly what causes fear, it will be of no use to you. You will not be able to put this knowledge to any use. Why do you think this is so? You will never guess the answer in a million years. And even if I told you the answer you will not know how to solve the problem.

I have no intention here of being cruel and leaving you with a sense of hopelessness. If I told you what causes fear, you will not be able to use this knowledge because you are in the habit of forgetting things unknowingly. If I tell you something while we are seated in your lounge room you will forget it as soon as you walk out the door. 

Have you driven from point A to point B via some landmark, say a bridge or a prominent building? As soon as you reach point B you have no memory whatsoever of passing the landmark. You know you must have passed it because the only route from point A to point B is via the landmark in question. Yet you cannot remember any experiences concerning the landmark. The above is only one small example. This problem is more widespread than you think.

As a matter of fact, this forgetting is so severe that you don’t even realize you have it. Think about this deeply. How can you know you have forgotten something when you have forgotten something? I am not playing with words here. I am describing a state of mind which has been operating in you all your life and has been undetected. It allows the creation of fear, pain and all kinds of unhappiness in your life unknowingly.

Negative emotions are not the only unpleasant consequence of this forgetting. Unconscious forgetting also severely distorts your sense of reason. If you do something that has consequences for you at a later date, how would you explain these consequences when you have forgotten that you caused them? You’ll be forced to invent a theory that is completely false. The theory will explain the consequences via all sorts of external influences. It will have nothing to do with you. You then invest your faith in this theory and attempt to teach others about its seeming truth. Are you 100 percent sure that most of information you are receiving about your life from various people that are supposed to be helping you is not coming from these types of theories? Are you also sure that these individuals are not suffering from this type of forgetting, just as you are?

Fortunately there is a way of solving these problems and ending your unconscious habit of forgetting. It is described in detail in my report.

Once you overcome fear, then depression and pain soon disappear. These states are intimately linked. They all reinforce one another. The creation and execution of one leads to the operation of the others. Once fear has been eliminated all your problems will end. This not only includes physical illness but also undesirable situations and events you may find yourself in at various times. The reason for this is also described in detail the report.

Are you brave enough to pursue the knowledge presented in the report? You have two alternatives; find the courage to pursue the truth or continue on the path you are traveling on. 

The choice is yours

Neuro-Emotional Techniques

NETä or Neuro-Emotional Techniquesä is one of the newer “power therapies” that along with TFT, Thought Field Therapy, and EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing have become popular in the last ten years. These therapies seem to work quicker than traditional talk therapies. 

This appears to be due in part because they target the more primitive parts of the brain. These would include the Limbic system, the Medulla Oblongata, and the Enkelphin system, which is in every cell of the body.

Dr. Scott Walker developed NET ä in the early 1980’s. Dr. Walker is a chiropractor by training, who uses Applied Kinesiology or AK. 

AK is based on Chinese medicine, acupuncture and the Meridian System. Chinese medicine is concerned with the body’s need for balance or homeostasis. If the Chi or energy of the body is in balance then it is assumed that the body will be able to cure itself and run at top efficiency. 

Practitioners do this by testing acupressure or acupuncture points in the body, which are divided up into 12 main Meridian Systems. These Meridian Systems are named for the main organs of the body such as the Lung Meridian or the Liver Meridian. Each of the systems is correlated with particular emotions. The lung is associated with grief and sorrow and the liver with anger and resentment. 

Applied Kinesiology tests the Chi or energy by taking a strong indicator muscle, any strong muscle, and asking the client or patient to lock their muscle as the practitioner tries to challenge the strength of that muscle by pushing or pulling the area to see if it will hold. The practitioner might ask a client to hold their arm straight out in front of them and lock it while the clinician with an open hand firmly pushes down on the arm right above the wrist. This checks to see if the arm will hold. Almost any major muscle will work for muscle testing.

The body consists of water and electricity. It is believed that muscle testing checks to see if the muscle has enough electricity in it to hold. It is thought that Chi is essentially the same as this electricity. Dr. Goodheart, the father of Applied Kinesiology, first demonstrated therapy localization. Therapy localization occurs when you test a strong muscle alone or in the clear and then touch another part of the patients’ body to test if a change of muscle strength occurs. If it does then dysfunction is assumed to be present in the localized area. 

Chiropractors who practice AK routinely test or challenge a vertebrae in the neck or the back, and if the muscle goes weak then they can assume that the vertebrae is misaligned or out of position in the spine. They then put the vertebrae back in and retest. When the muscle is strong it is assumed the vertebrae is back in alignment. The client routinely reports feeling better.

Dr. Walker adapted and built on Dr. Goodhearts’ work by applying AK to the emotions. Emotions are energy. Emotions can be tested through the electrical system of the body. Therefore, if a muscle tests strong in the clear and then the NETä recipient thinks of some issue that is upsetting, that previously strong muscle will become weak. Dr. Walker believes that what he is testing is the “emotional reality” of the body. This means that theoretically if a person believes an untruth his muscle testing will be consistent with that belief.

However, the emotional belief of a client, at least who is not psychotic, is usually consistent with reality. Therefore, if a person says “My name is Sam” and it is Sam, a muscle test of that statement will be congruent and will hold strong. The reverse is equally true. 

This essentially means that Dr. Walker has found the royal road to the subconscious. The ramifications of this discovery cannot be overstated. There has never been a better diagnostic indicator for subconscious reality. In my experience working with trauma survivors and children who have grown up in these environments this technique is essential for a full recovery.

These populations usually show a tremendous amount of dissociation. This essentially means that consciously they often do not know how they feel. NETä accurately diagnoses the feelings that a client is having and the client then often reports congruence with that previously dissociated set of feelings. Then it releases it from the body by tapping on a few vertebrae that are related to the particular Meridian System that is associated with the emotion. Usually at that point several things occur. The client reports subjectively 1) A lessening of that feeling state 2) A feeling of relief and 3) Less dissociation in general and more overall integration.

NETä seems to work in several ways:

1. It diagnosis problems and feelings.

2. It accesses the subconscious.

3. It discovers early trauma and how that trauma relates to present problems.

4. It acts as a biofeedback loop, which teaches people what they feel.

5. It increases congruence between the Human Brain, Limbic system or Mammalian Brain, the Medulla Oblongata or Reptilian Brain, and the Endorphin System, which is an even more primitive brain in each cell of the body and

6. This thereby increases overall mental, emotional and physical health. The possibilities for the spiritual side of man are also immense.

While all of these are good reasons to become proficient in NETä, with trauma work and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder this technique is a must. PTSD is so pervasive and the symptoms are attached so securely to the body, that unless some relief to the physical part of the trauma is attained then the client will remain in great distress. Neuro-Emotional Techniquesä is a welcome addition to a clinician specializing in this section of the field.

Emergencies -- How Organized and Prepared Are You?

Being organized is frequently about saving. It's about saving time  saving money  and saving those things that are precious and important to you so you will readily have them when you want them in the future. 

How prepared and organized are you to save those important things when an emergency strikes? Natural and man-made disasters are in the news almost every day -- fires here, floods there, an earthquake somewhere else, and a tornado touching down in your own backyard. Sometimes you are fortunate enough to have 30 minutes notice to leave your home. Other times there is no advanced warning at all. For the survivors of these horrors, life must go on once the clean-up begins. Before an emergency presents itself in your life, and to ease your re-entry process after the fact, you can take a few simple steps now, just in case you do have a chance to take more than the clothes that are on your back. 

Implement these ideas TODAY, so you will be better organized and prepared for an emergency when and if it happens. 

1. Create a notebook to capture all the important household and family informational details. Include things like birth dates, social security numbers, health history, and every aspect you can recall. Many products are available that require little more than filling in the blank for each item for each person. 

2. Keep your household information notebook current so you have what you need when you need it. Store the notebook in a place you can grab easily without having to search for it. 

3. Put one complete change of clothes for each member of your household into a pile for quick access. Store the entire pile in one large cloth tote bag or box, or in individual ones for each member of the family. If you choose an individual bag or box for each person, put a few other vital or precious items that will be valued by that person into their respective container. 

4. Keep a supply of collapsible crates and large cloth tote bags at the ready. When you're packing in a hurry, there is no time to find boxes. The tote bags and collapsible crates can be stored flat and take up minimal space when they are not being used. 

5. Use a child's plastic pocket organizer that fits over the back seat of your car or a door to prepare children's items to take with you in a moment's notice. Things like a flashlight, tissues, map, and an umbrella can be stored in that kind of container to grab on the run as well. 

6. Put your most important photographs and documents into protective photo storage boxes. This helps preserve them and makes them easy to take with you. Select the photos most meaningful to you and keep the box current. 7. Color-code the emergency containers you use for family members. That makes it easier to grab and identify valuables in an evacuation situation. 

8. Carry a small family pet to safety in a large cloth tote bag with shoulder straps. A frightened pet can be more swiftly rescued by placing it into that type of bag, and be comforted by being close to your body. 

9. Examine the exit routes from various parts of your home and from room to room within your home. Look at what is stored at or near each thoroughfare within the house. 

10. Relocate things to safer places than in doorways and walkways. Put magazines into magazine holders on shelves. Place large items into storage boxes in less accessible places. Find other homes for children's toys. Use doors to safely hang things that might be strewn on the floor. 

Spend a few minutes each week to review your emergency preparedness. Decide what items you want to purchase. Shop for them little by little or all at once. Many products to easily assist you with these ideas and more can be found at www.HomeOasisInternational.com

Dream BIG

Do you take the time to recognize your true potential? Or, are you so busy occupying your time and energy with all you have on your plate that you have forgotten the vital self? Does your potential remain an unrealized glimmer of hope, as you continue to search? Or, do you dream in the color of limitations because what you have come to express holds you from being all you are? 

As we look around at the conflicts and chaos that seem to engulf our world, many of us conclude that we have taken a detour on the path to our true potential. In spite of all the diversions, we maintain the capacity to renew our direction. By repairing the breaks, you are freed from the limited experiences of yesterday, as you open to the heaven of possibilities of today. Make the commitment to open to your true dreams, and realize your unique expression and be all you are created to be. Not only will you turn on the light in your personal world, but you will help illumine the world, at large. We each make a difference, as we are applauded to attain our personal potential! 

I always considered that supporting others to realize life fulfilled and content was my dream for the future. Thinking I was fulfilling that dream, I built a busy law practice. Given my state of mind at the time, I figured that a law practice was the vehicle to support those that wished a greater life. But, after forming four busy offices with capacity for more, I realized I reached a self-imposed ceiling. I formed less by accepting less. Thus, by resisting my potential, I resisted my true dream. 

During a law conference in 1994, I made the decision of my life. It did not take long for me to transfer the law practice to my partner; I set out on my journey with no script or purse. Although I faced the fears of the unknown developed in my mind from imperfect understanding, I learned to overcome the resistance. 

In closing the door, I awoke to the process for clearing away the old and opening to my true dreams. My dreams no longer stem from accepting less; they take a new dimension along with the confidence and security of our true purpose. Today, with passion, I begin to realize my true dream, and the first fruit has ripened on my tree of infinite potential. It is a book entitled The Infallible Way to Self. Plus, I am happy to say that I no longer support individuals to cope, as it seems I did, most of my time, as a lawyer. Now I support individuals to realize their true potential, including the infallible system that is constantly at work for all of us. 

We all have the capacity to realize our personal perfection of life. We are able to open to our unique expression to freely dream and more, to manifest those dreams to experience life filled with joy and abundance. Using the words of a wise friend "don't limit your dream by thinking less; rise up and think BIG." 

Do The Right Things

Life is so fast-paced today with people trying to do so much that many people find themselves stressed to the max. By maintaining a state of constant busyness, people run themselves into exhaustion. And, at the end of the day, they’re thinking, “There’s got to be a better way.”

Life is not a race to the finish. In spite of your success and accomplishments, you should be enjoying yourself. To which my clients ask, “But I have so much to do, how do I get it all done and enjoy myself?” 

Trying to do more at faster speeds isn’t the answer. Maintaining that “gotta-get-it-done” mindset causes the body to maintain a heightened sense of readiness and alertness by releasing adrenaline, the body’s natural equivalent to caffeine. Over longs periods of time, the constant use of adrenaline as an energy source leads to decreased immunity, heart disease, stroke, insomnia and anxiety. Living a life of constant “up-ness” is not a peaceful or healthy approach to living. 

Perhaps the answer isn’t to do more, but to do less, and to target your energies to do the right things. By shifting how you use your time and learning to value your time differently, you can do more of the right things, which will help you reach your goals. By learning to take your time more seriously, to do more of the right things and to focus on enjoying the present, you experience greater personal fulfillment while achieving more.

Take Your Time Seriously 

Time is the most precious thing you own. What you do today determines what you bring into your life in the future. How you use (or lose) your time is your choice. This means, you can learn to become more effective and experience less stress.

It’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae or events of the moment. You remain focused on just getting things done rather than keeping the bigger picture in mind. But staying busy is a trap; it distracts you from what’s really important. If you keep moving long enough you won’t notice that you’re off course. It’s like taking a trip without knowing your destination. By creating clear and inspiring goals, you set the destination for your course. Then you can evaluate whether what you are doing in the moment is contributing to your overall goals and objectives. Is what you’re doing at this moment the best use of your time? Are your actions moving you in the direction of your goals? 

Value your time by taking it seriously. Become more aware of how you spend your time and whether those things add value to your life or drain your energy and steal your time. Consider the things you do at work and in your spare time, the people you spend time with, the conversations you have and the meetings you attend. Look for ways to streamline processes, eliminate unproductive or negative conversations, interruptions and distractions. By monitoring your time with vigilance, eliminating unproductive activities and adding things that you enjoy or that develop you personally or professionally, you gain control of your time and experience greater levels of personal satisfaction.

Do The Right Things

There are three major parts to doing the right things:

1. Are the activities being performed necessary to meet your company’s mission and move you toward goal achievement? 

2. Is what you’re doing the best use of your time, energy and expertise? 

3. Are you delegating most effectively in order to use the resources of your team most efficiently?

Number one relates to your strategy, the road map you’re using to get to your destination. Are your strategies meeting your department or company objectives? Are your team members focusing their time on activities that move you closer to those objectives? Clearly, there needs to be ongoing evaluation in order to assess the effectiveness of your current strategy. You have to check your road map regularly to determine if you’re headed in the right direction.

Number two is about you and your personal effectiveness. Are you accomplishing what you intend? Do you feel good about your daily work? Are you meeting your objectives easily or are you struggling? If you’re struggling, ask yourself why. It might mean you need additional information or that you don’t have the required expertise or maybe you just need a break. Don’t resist the struggle; uncover the source so you can move beyond it. 

Clarify needs versus wants. There is much that you might want to do or that needs to get done but that may not be necessary or appropriate for you to do. Eliminate those items not essential for goal achievement. Learn to delegate those things best accomplished by others and hold them accountable. Focus on only those things that you need to do yourself or on things that will develop you personally or professionally. The cost for spending time negligently is that you cannot do what’s necessary. You cannot retrieve lost time.

Learning to delegate well is an important part of leadership and personal effectiveness. If you’re a control freak and can’t seem to let others do their work, then you will remain in a state of struggle and stress. There will never be enough time to do it all, you will resent others, you will not be happy - and neither will those around you. You cannot be the expert in everything. Discover what’s the best use of your time and delegate (or eliminate) the rest. 

Focus On The Present

The present is a gift. You’ve probably heard that saying before. But what does that really mean? And what’s that have to do with time effectiveness and eliminating stress? 

If you worry about all of the things you have to do or how you’re going to accomplish them, if you live in fear or anxiety over what might happen, then you are living in the future. You cannot worry yourself into a state of well-being. Worry is stress. It takes you out of the present and puts you in the future.

If you are living an adrenaline lifestyle, then you are sacrificing your future and your present by burning through today at such speeds that you are not truly present – you’re just getting it done. By staying busy, you miss out on the pleasure in the moment – the gift of the “present”. 

Learning to take control of your time and stay grounded in the present is about mastering you and your personal effectiveness. The only commodity you own is your time. You can invest it or spend it; either way, it keeps ticking.

DEVELOPING HIGH SELF ESTEEM

High self-esteem-like having money-something we think everyone else has but us. Yet having low self-esteem is perhaps the most common flaw of our humanity.

The majority of people in society think, “The only way to have high self-esteem is to be born with it”. This is not true. You can develop high self-esteem, just like learning to read or dance. Secondly, people do not understand the importance of having high self-esteem. I cannot even begin to stress the importance of having high self-esteem; it is the key to having mental, physical and spiritual strength. 

The first stage of developing strength is learning to love yourself and your life. You need to learn to be grateful of what God has given you. You need to let go of all those angry emotions inside. Holding anger inside yourself will not help you, it will only hurt you. The past is the past; you can only change the present.

You need to love yourself by accepting all your faults and putting the past behind you, but if, you focus on your faults than you will only experience an unhappy life. You need to think positively and focus on your accomplishments.

To live with a happy state of mind, you need to have high self-esteem. You need to feel that you are no different from anyone else and that you can be the person you set in your mind to be. You need to reconstruct your life. You need to put yourself in a lifestyle that will make you happy and bring you as little stress as possible.

To begin the healing process you need to develop strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. If you can develop these qualities, you will achieve all your goals and dreams. First, you must focus on the goals and dreams you want to fulfill. I am going to teach you the true meanings of having strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. I will help shoe you how to obtain and use them. These four steps will help you live a happy life and gain high self-esteem.! Below are four steps to high self-esteem. 

1. Strength- the development of strength in the inner body begins in the mind. The inner body is our mind, soul and spirit. How we think and program our minds to work, helps us build mental, physical and spiritual strength. Our strength comes from how we feel about ourselves. The higher our self-esteem, the stronger we feel and in turn, we can do more for ourselves. 

Yet, if you have the strength and motivation, you can make the present anything you want. To free all your negative emotions that are holding you back, you have to say to yourself. I accept myself for who I am and that I am unable to change the past. Nevertheless, I can change my future because I love myself and refuse to hurt myself by drowning in my own self pity. You cannot rely on others. You need to learn to rely on yourself. 

You have to believe in yourself, develop a sense of pride in yourself. It does not matter what others think about you, what matters is how you think about yourself. God put us on this earth to love others, not to hurt ourselves and take our anger out on others, who are usually the people we care about the most and ourselves.

2. Knowledge - is the second part of the process of change, it is another important factor in helping yourself. Knowledge comes from experience from being open minded to suggestions others may give. We may not always agree with other people's suggestions, yet it is always wise to listen to what others have to say. Some individuals may try to be controlling and may get frustrated if we do not act on what they have to say. You should to set these people straight and tell them; I will listen to what you have to say; however, that does not necessarily mean I am going to agree with you. I have my own mind, too and I need to do what is best for me. 

We learn from each other and we acquire knowledge from the world around us that we should pass along to others by helping them. We need to take our experience and use it in our present life now, including the mistakes we have made in life. The mistakes we have made are where we get most of our knowledge that helps us become stronger individuals. What weakens us when we repeatedly make the same mistakes? 

Do not pity yourself for the mistakes you made in life or imperfections. Studies have shown that people who have negative attitudes are more like to live chaotic lives. They are more likely to become mentally or physically ill with extremely debilitating or life threatening illnesses. Many people have a hard time focusing on the positive because they allow their negative sides to consume them... I firmly believe that focusing on the negatives will causes seizures.

Say to yourself, OK, what I have learned from these mistakes or from my shortcomings. Taking what you have learned and using it to help others is the best therapy. When you help, you feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. You are overlooking any negative characteristics because you are too busy focusing on helping others'. 

3. Confidence- our confidence comes from our self-esteem. To have high self-esteem we need to feel good about ourselves, to get to this point in life you need to begin by starting to do things in life to make yourself happy by focusing on the future, creating direction in your life. Begin by planning short and long-term goals for yourself and confidence level will rise. 

It worked fir me. When I started accomplishing some of my short term goals, I had more self respect. I developed a greater sense of pride and my inner strength and self-worth increased. 

4. Wisdom- comes from your sixth sense. We all have five senses, our sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, yet I believe wisdom to be our sixth sense. Wisdom is understanding the inner signals and the directions that your body sends out to you, becoming aware of what your body is trying to tell you. Your sixth sense always leads you to the right answers. It is up to us to learn to understand our inner self (spirit) and to follow the signals it sends out to us. 

Listening to what our inner self has to say is essential. For example, have you ever felt like you had a feeling something was the right thing to do. You need to learn to understand your mind, so you can understand your inner soul and all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. When we listen and act on the signals our body, it gives us a stronger understanding to our body as a whole. Spiritually you can give your body what it needs. 

We feed our body food to survive on a daily basis. Spiritually we need to feed our body with love, understanding and different forms of relaxation, such as meditation. I strongly suggest to everyone that you start with at least five minutes each day with some type of relaxation exercise. Either in the morning when you start your day, the afternoon if you are able too or at night before bed to release the tension that has built up throughout the day. Each week you should add five minutes until you get to hour each day.

When you do these things, you increase your level of strength, wisdom, knowledge and confidence. By having a high level of strength you feel as though, you can conquer the world. This helps you decrease your stress level. 

Once you accept yourself, you can cope with the world around you and accept the fact that you can do everything you expected to do in life. Nevertheless, to accept that yourself you first have to love who you are and be proud of the person you have become. There are many things in life you are capable of doing, but you must develop the motivation and the will to get out there and JUST DO THEM! 

Destiny

Whatever you put into your life is exactly what you get out of it, and no more. If your attitude is cheerful, enthusiastic, and positive, that is how your life will become. If you think thoughts of devotion for god, you will feel devotion. But if you fill your mind with negation, criticism, meanness, selfishness, that is what you will receive. That is the divine law. It cannot be otherwise. - Sri Sri Daya Mata 

It is the coward and the fool who says This is fate - so says the Sanskrit proverb. But it is the strong man who stands up and says, "I will make my fate". It is the people who are getting old who talk of fate. Young men generally do not come to astrology.Go on doing good. Never say any man is hopeless, because he only represents a character, a bundle of habits, which can be checked by new and better ones. Character is repeated habits; and repeated habits alone can reform character. The chaste brain has tremendous energy and gigantic will power. 

Make your own future . "Let the dead past bury its dead". The infinite future is before you, and you must always remember that each Word, Thought and Deed lays up a store for you, and that as the bad thoughts and bad works are ready to spring upon you like tigers, so also there is the inspiring hope that the good thoughts and good deeds are ready to defend you always and forever. - Swami Vivekananda 

Dealing With Depression

Depression or “depressive reactions” is a mood response that is often brought on by the stresses and strains in our lives. For some, it can be triggered by a serious loss, a difficult relationship, financial problems or any overwhelmingly stressful situation. For others it may be set off by medical conditions, drug or alcohol abuse or hormonal changes. In recent years, it has been noted that certain forms of depression can actually run in families. 

Far more common than you may think, one in five women and one in ten men can expect to experience some form of depression in their lives. Depression can influence every aspect of your life. Although the cause of depression is unknown, depression can leave you feeling sad, irritable, indecisive, pessimistic, hopeless or empty. Sufferers can also experience insomnia, fatigue, memory loss, restlessness, anxiety and even rapid weight gain or loss. 

Today, many people are aware of the drug therapy that is available for depression. This includes pharmaceuticals such as Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin, and Prozac. These drugs, while helping to eliminate the depression, can cause emotional “flatness”. Instead of coming to terms with the underlying causes of their depression these medications suppress it. 

Fortunately, there are a number of natural therapies, which can help you manage mild to moderate depression. If you are currently on anti-depressive drug therapy, it is important to work with your primary care provider before incorporating these recommendations into your life.

Recommendations For Wellness

Exercise! Regular physical activity has been shown to release endorphins, the feel good chemicals in the body. It can also help to reduce stress and build self-esteem. 

Meditate! Meditation and other relaxation techniques work to calm the mind and help to reduce stress, muscle tension and anxiety. It can also promote emotional health and balance.

Many forms of psychotherapy have been shown to help depressed individuals by helping them gain insight into and resolve their problems.

Avoid alcohol, sedatives and antihistamines, as well as substances that can alter ones mood such as caffeine and nicotine. 

Increase consumption of omega-3 fatty acids such as found in salmon.

St. John’s Wort has been used for years to treat depression. Please note it may take up to 2 months to notice its effects. 

SAMe is an essential amino acid that helps the body manufacture certain neurotransmitters, which promote the feelings of well-being.

5-HTP is a precursor to seratonin. Low seratonin levels have been linked to feeling “down”. 

B-vitamins have also been shown help to protect against depression. It is best to take a B-complex that contains folic acid.

Never stop taking an antidepressant without consulting the doctor for instructions on how to safely discontinue the medication.

Crazy or Adopted - Pick One

I never fit in no matter how hard I tried. I just had to be adopted. There was no way I could be a biological part of the family I was living with. These were my innermost thoughts, maybe even my hopes, for years.

I wasn’t like my cousins, didn’t follow the rules easily, hated taking care of my baby brother and constantly received a ‘D’ in deportment. Yet I stayed out of any big trouble. Maybe I was just crazy.

Looking back, I wonder how I got through it. I locked myself in my bedroom just to have quiet time and read. But that wasn’t allowed. I was never alone. I couldn’t meet the expectations of my family. I didn’t even clean the sink well enough.

A young girl in my era had to be a good cook, housekeeper and hopefully, a good wife. I didn’t want to get married,but there were no alternatives for me. I was totally alone.

Eventually I gave in and married someone my parents approved of. I gave birth to three children in three years.

I decorated and painted the walls, and cooked the meals and baked the cookies. The good wife and mother.

Salvation appeared in the form of a hobby, albeit against my husband’s wishes. Acting. There were few rules. You could be someone else, someone new. It was not only an outlet but also a way out.

Over a two year period, I planned my escape from the abusive environment. When I did escape, it was only about a mile away, but it felt great. For a while, that is.

Two more years of ignorance, uncertainty and abuse came and went. The great escape appeared and I took it. My golden opportunity. California! I was terrified, yet vilified by family members. No one got divorced, let alone moved away from the family. But they didn’t fee like my family. There was no love or acceptance for who I was and what I was doing. They said I was eccentric. Maybe I was.

I see now that my hobby and move to California were spurts of the creativity and desire I had within but had not been aware of. I was unaware for a long time.

I now know what I did was adapt in order to fit in. I know the constant adapting made me unhappy, unfulfilled and tired. But I just sucked it up and did what I had to do to survive and provide for my children.

Burnout wasn’t quite the word years ago that it is today. I did it more than once. Got married a second time and was back where I did not belong. Got out of that, but with a great sense of loss. Where did I go wrong? Who was I that nothing worked out?

I did enjoy certain periods of my life. That was in the peaks. It was in the valleys where the questions, depression and losses occurred. Getting out of each successive valley took great energy and desire.

I had little of each as time kept rushing by. Then came another in the long string of mini-salvations. A friend asked me to co-facilitate a workshop. Thus began the era of any and every type of body work,consciousness raising work, Tibetan Buddhism, and presenting and attending a multitude of seminars and workshops in the ongoing search for self.

As luck would have it, I met a new friend. She mentioned a workshop that would help me realize my innate giftedness(a thinking process preference for using the right frontal lobe of the brain) and I was on my way.

Arlene Taylor’s Brain Realization workshop has been a tremendous eye opener. I was vibrating in my seat from the minute it started. I was home.

(Contact Arlene here: http://www.ArleneTaylor.org

The integration of all aspects of my life within the context of her brain-function information has blown me away.

Integrating who I now know myself to be is a challenge, but an adventure I handle daily.

Someone asked how I was going to apply what I learned in Arlene’s workshop. My response was that I now knew I wasn’t crazy. What an enormous relief. I also said that each day was new, inviting, maybe scary, but I had the rest of my life to truly find out how to live well as a frontal right, auditory, introvert.

The benefits have been coming since day one. They don't stop. I’m not crazy. Never have been. I am not adopted, either. Just unique

Controlling our Anger Before it Controls Us

The emotion of anger has many purposes, some of which can serve us well. Anger can be used by others to confuse or control you. In conflict resolution anger is a useful emotion when used to support yourself against attack by others. Anger takes away your energy, because it charges you emotionally, even when used constructively. Because of its potential to hurt or destroy one's self-confidence, anger must be under your control. It can be likened to an atomic bomb when uncontrolled. 

Anger is a major block to your self-esteem and self-image. Anger is also a choice we make. We decide how we will react to a perceived threat to our ego, or emotional well being. It is a signal to help you see what is going on in your emotions, to find the cause of the anger. Everybody has his or her own definition of anger. Webster's New World Dictionary defines anger as: a feeling of displeasure resulting from mistreatment, injury, and opposition, usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of the feeling.

Anger is a valuable signal, because it lets us know when something is wrong or a problem. It does not solve the problem. Often when we are angry, one of these things is happening:

1. We want something and are not getting it.

2. From past experience, we expect trouble.

3. We have feelings of powerlessness.

4. Sad feelings

5. Feelings of grief that connect us with strength and joy.

6. Depression

7. Feelings of negativity about life, self, and people.

In confronting anger, remember you have three options: 

1. You can choose to react angrily or not. 

2. You can become aware of what you are feeling. 

3. You can be aware of the intensity of your anger, if you are in control of your anger, or if it controls you. 

Anger moves through the following stages if it is not resolved immediately

1. Frustration – Based on unfulfilled expectations

2. Disappointment – Based on unfulfilled expectations. To prevent anger, look into the situation and get the facts. 

3. Embarrassment – Based on unfulfilled self-image, and a desire to create a new self-image. 

4. Guilt – Based on social expectations you have accepted, and or a decision to hide or avoid something.

5. Fear of rejection – Based on unknown expectations with probability of consequence. Confront the situation/person/behavior, explore the cause then decide if you want to avoid it. 

Alternatives To An Anger Reaction

To change your expression of anger, you must change your thinking. Change what you say to yourself in your head, in response to the external event. These four steps can help:

1. Take time to rethink on what has provoked you.

2. Use a planned relaxation technique 

3. Stay calm and keep your cool

4. Ask yourself if you are overreacting, justifying your right to be angry, or taking thing too seriously.

What Causes Anger

Anger is triggered by external events called provocations, which create anger thoughts, anger arousal, and angry actions. All of these stimulate each other until they are fused together, in an anger feedback loop that leads to destructive consequences. An angry outburst can be likened to a hurricane or tornado, as the center of the energy gets smaller, the tension becomes greater, making it harder to generate productive actions to change. And productive actions cannot be made when the anger feedback loop is completely fused. Your anger work out will prevents fusion or confusion.

The Major Causes of Anger Are:

1. Dependency Relationships

2. Resentment

3. Grief

4. Victim Mentality

5. Abusive Relationships

6. Low Self-Esteem

When you develop inner control of a powerful emotion like anger, you become powerful. When your outer environment controls you, you lose the opportunity to have inner control. To become good at any skill, whether it is controlling your physical expression of anger or your tongue, requires continuous practice. 

Ten Steps to Control Your Anger: 

1. Make a list of things that make you mad, and memorize it. 

2. Talk about you feelings, let people know when things bother you. 

3. When you feel angry, do something with the energy. Slowly breathe in and out ten times. On the exhale, spread you fingers apart widely and imagine the negative energy leaving your body as you do so. 

4. When you feel the urge to strike out at someone, raise your shoulders, as you breathe in deeply; rapidly lower your shoulders as you exhale. Notice your jaw muscles, shoulders, hands, chest, and torso muscles. Get in touch with what you are angry about, and with whom you are angry. And think of what situation from your past childhood made you angry. 

5. Make peace with yourself and the person who is the object of your anger. Forgive yourself first. Then apologize to the other person for your lack of control. 

6. Mentally visualize two paths. Have one of these paths be positive, pleasant, and full of light. Have the other path be dark, gloomy, and depressive. Then send your angry feelings down the dark path and over the cliff. 

7. Notice if you feel like yelling, screaming, or hitting. Before you act on your anger, think of why you are angry. Is your angry feeling legitimate, or did you create a situation to justify your need to be angry? 

8. Talk your way through your anger. Tell yourself you can change from being a reactor of your emotions to being a processor. Notice your thoughts, change negative thoughts to positive. 

9. Change the image you have of yourself from "blowing your stack, to being a cool headed person." Whenever you are able to control your anger, reinforce it by saying something kind to yourself. 

10. Daily seek ways to change your image, inner thoughts, and outer behavior, so the two match. 

Always assume responsibility for what you are feeling, and own all your feelings including anger. Anger that is unresolved turns into resentment, envy, jealousy, revenge, and hatred. Unresolved anger, manifests as depression. There is always an underlying feeling of inadequacy when you are angry. Taking responsibility for these feelings and how you cope with them can enhance your self-esteem and will bring harmony to your life and your relationships. 

Conquering Fear

Fear is illusory; it cannot live. Courage is eternal, it will not die. Perils, calamities, dangers are the certain lot of every man who is a denizen of this world. Therefore, O Man! Fortify your mind with courage and patience. Fortitude, courage, presence of mind will sustain you through all dangers. Just as a rock on the sea-shore stands firm and the dashing of the waves does not affect it even a bit, even so a man who is endowed with courage is not affected by the dark perilous waves of this Samsara. He stands adamant in all trying conditions and circumstances and comes out victorious. - Swami Sivananda One must conquer one's own self, for difficult it is to conquer it. One who does so, is blessed in this world and also in the next. - Lord Mahavir

Communicate With The Heart

CONNECT WITH THE HEART

I was recently on a speaking tour in Saint Petersburg, Russia. Being spring break, my 13 year old daughter, Courtney, had requested that she go along with me for the 10 day journey. After encountering a fall on the ice, a bruised ego and a rather stoic, staunch and unfeeling host, my daughter asked me if we could move from the flat of the Russian family that we were staying with, into the 5-star Astoria Hotel. It was a $2,500 decision (5 star hotels in Russia charge New York City prices).

After her tears from the fall and asking if we could go home to America, I quickly made the decision to move to the luxurious Astoria. Later that night at dinner, she said to me, ‘Dad, thank you for moving. I know it cost a lot of money, but I want you to know that I really appreciate it. You know dad, someday I want to marry someone like you.’ Money well spent, wouldn’t you say?

Notice what just happened. I didn’t give you a paragraph full of facts and figures. I drew you into my true story. Get this! Stories will evoke emotions. Facts don’t. As one speaker I heard recently said, ‘Facts tell; stories sell’. Should you never use facts in public speaking? Facts are great but you better tell the story if you are going to sell your message, your products or yourself.

Do you recall the movie, 48 hours, with Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte? Remember when they are waiting across the street from the parking garage for the guy to show up and retrieve Eddie Murphy’s car with $250,000 in the trunk? Eddie Murphy climbs over the seat of the old Cadillac convertible and takes his coat off to snuggle up and sleep while they wait. Reggie (Murphy’s character) says to Jack (Nolte’s character), in this high pitched, childlike way, ‘Jack, tell me a bedtime story’. Get this! Your entire audience is begging you every time you stand to speak, ‘Please, tell me a story’.

The story stimulates the entire brain. Why didn’t I, in the last paragraph, just blurt out the point and tell you what I wanted to say? Why did I tell you about the movie? It doesn’t matter if you saw the movie or not, I still prompted you to ‘see the picture’, ‘hear the way it sounded’ and get ‘the feeling that I wanted to evoke in you’. 

The story requires that your whole brain be involved. The story prepares your mind to receive the fact. The fact is cold and hard yet still beneficial. Nonetheless, the fact is anchored much better, when it is first set up by the story. This communicates to the whole brain utilizing 3 of your senses; visual, hearing and emotional. Thus you really ‘connect’ at a deeper level with your audience. You deliver the same message but with the story, you connect on a subconscious basis that causes your message to fully arrive and fully communicate with your entire audience.

What’s the point of all I’m saying to you? Stay home, don’t go to Russia and watch old Eddie Murphy and Nick Notle movies? (Notice what I just did. I made you think about all I’ve said again. I call it ‘the double lock in’.) No. Tell the story and make your presentations 'out-standing' because you connected with their hearts and not just their brains. 

Breaking the Worry Cycle

Suppose someone invited you to spend time today clasping the positive and negative terminals of your car battery – just for the pain of it. Just so you can feel the jolt and watch the shower of sparks. I doubt there would be many takers. The shock would ruin your day, and possibly your battery. 

Most people have no appetite for such self-torture, at least not in such an overt form. They prefer the veiled variety: worry. For millions, it's the misery of choice. 

Worry strips away the joys of today. It reaches into the unforeseeable future and takes out a loan on trouble – trouble that may or may not occur. "He who fears what he may suffer," says an old proverb, "already suffers what he fears." And what he or she fears usually doesn't even come to pass, making the suffering of worry entirely gratuitous. 

Of course, most worriers admit that there is no logic in worry. But they feel powerless to shut it off. Like water from a broken pipe, the worry just gushes as they look on. Such passivity, however, is self-defeating and deceptive. We can do something. And while we may not be able to halt worry entirely (being human), there are strategies we can employ to reduce its hold on our lives. 

One mental habit helpful in managing worry is to consistently envision our lives as a series of 24-hour episodes, and focus our energies on the particular episode we're starring in at the time. It involves a conscious decision to restrict our anxious care only to that block of time between sunrise and bedtime. Of course, that doesn't preclude planning and considering future problems. But it does mean that we learn to live most of our lives in the present tense, where we can actually do something about the problems that face us. 

Dale Carnegie, in his classic book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, writes of the eternity behind us and the one before us – the past and the future – and our inability to live in either. Today is where we are, and the present is what we should busy ourselves with. Life is a journey of 24 hours today. Then 24 tomorrow, and so on. 

You've probably heard this illustration, but it bears repeating: Imagine that a housewife or househusband could see the mountain of dishes that would ultimately need washing throughout all of life. Think of how that person would sink into despair after seeing all the dirty dishes of the future piled up in a one towering stack alongside the Washington Monument. 

"Do all this? How will I ever be able to get it done?" The answer, of course, is one sink's worth at a time, one day at a time. Broken down thus, the task is not nearly so daunting. And that is the attitude we must cultivate about life in general. "Each day," said Jesus of Nazareth in his Sermon on the Mount, "has enough trouble of its own." 

The objection here is almost immediate: "I just don't look at life that way." Granted, such a perspective doesn't come naturally for a lot of people. For most of us, it's a learned discipline. Similarly, golfers learn to keep the head down when they swing. It doesn't come automatically, it must be acquired through habit – doing it the right way over and over until it becomes second nature. That's the way we install most of our skills: riding a bicycle, typing, driving a stick shift, etc. Learning to view life from a healthier vantage point is no different. 

But some worriers are in a deeper hole than others. Those who struggle with anxiety tend to have acute worry problems. They develop a kind of "mental itch," a compulsion to visit and revisit matters, to turn them around and overanalyze them. When a worry comes to mind, they feel uncomfortable leaving it alone. But the analysis almost never resolves the worrisome thought. On the contrary, it only deepens the anxiety. 

So what can they do? Well, they can grit their teeth, ignore the "itch" and tell themselves they simply won't ever think about the troubling thought that has intruded into their consciousness. But it won't work. There is too much mental discomfort in trying to disregard a given worry forever and ever. It's too ambitious a program. 

Edna Foa and Reid Wilson, in their book Stop Obsessing!, outline a more effectual strategy: Tell yourself you won't think about the troubling concern now, but that you will do so later. Set an appointment with yourself to think about the concern. Give yourself a set amount of time to analyze it. Then be done with it. 

The mental dialog goes like this: This worry really troubles me right now. And it may warrant my consideration. But I'm not going to analyze it right now. I'll set aside some time at 10:30 a.m. – say, 10 or 15 minutes -- to hash this thing out. That's about an hour from now. I can hang in there for an hour of not analyzing it. 

Chances are, when 10:30 comes, that particular worry won't have the emotional stranglehold over you that it did the moment it entered your mind. It will have dissipated significantly. You may not even feel you need to keep the appointment at all, and that's fine. Let it go. 

If we don't let it go, we may have something much more significant to worry about – something warranted and real. It's a life wasted on worry, an existence devoid of energy and joy. And worse yet, it's the shipwreck of our health. Physicians will testify to the damage worry can do to the heart, immune system and general well-being. 

So let's turn from the future ills that may or may not beset us and turn to the real task at hand -- living our lives today, engaging the challenges of this 24-hour block of time. If we don't, we may be limiting the number of tomorrows we have left.